here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
