I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
