i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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