i don't like sucking hair
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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