imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
