You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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