your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
