she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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