she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That accounts for only three of the penises
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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