marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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