Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
