I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
