Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
