so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
