I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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