Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize