First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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