Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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