Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
