That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
