What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
