turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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