I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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