You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
