I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
