I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
