I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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