I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I didn't notice because vodka
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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