Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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