This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
