I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
