Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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