Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
