well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
