don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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