I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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