I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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