We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
