NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
