I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
