Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
