In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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