so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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