I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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