its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
