She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
