I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
bring money and cleavage
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
