watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
