Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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