you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
