Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
